I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
