Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm always down for nudity.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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