matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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