Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
