Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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