The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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