sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
