waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He passed out mid-signature
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
