Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize