Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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