And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Randomize
