My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
