remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
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