I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
