I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize