Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
