I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize