Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
