The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
