My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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