I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
