what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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