dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
