Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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