we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
