i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
