dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
