youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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