Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
