Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize