Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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