If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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