the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
