How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
how drunk are you?
Several
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
