I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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