So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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