Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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