ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
