There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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