if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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