That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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