apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
