The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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