she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
