This is not my ceiling
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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