idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
