Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
