I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
