I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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