Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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