i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
