Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
