It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize