she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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