How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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