So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
